Shy At Life

No, this is not a clever play at words for Shy at Wow (though I do love the blog).

No, this is a bit of a confession.

I mentioned earlier that I had gone off to a business trip.  Internets, let me tell you, it was one of the most exhausting trips of my life, and I still have to fill out expense reports, as well as a post convention review.  But that is another whole story.

Anyway, this convention actually happened to be in the back yard of two of my guildies.  So, one night over vent, I announced that I would be out of that weeks raid.  And I hesitated for a moment.  But then I announced where I was going, and my guildies immediately started setting up plans so that we could meet, hang out, have dinner, and such.

Do you see what happened there?  Yup, I hesitated.

You see, internets (I have been reading WAY too much of TJ lately – but thanks for the term TJ!  It’s stuck in my head now!), I have a bit of a confession to make.

Even though I raid lead; even though I co-gm my guild; even though I blog out here for everyone to read…

I am really a shy person at heart.

[Writers note:  This is one of the reasons for the recent writers block.  I have to be alone when I write, or at least tucked into my own little corner.  And where/when I used to do it is really not an option anymore.  So I have been struggling finding a new time/place to write at.]

No, no.  Not really, truly, in real life.  If I was extremely shy in real life, then I would not be as successful as I am at my current job (which, because of the nature of the job, I cannot post it here.  But you guys would TOTALLY love it).

You see, back when I was a young whippersnapper*, right out of high school, rip-roaring ready to hit the world, I got this job, at the current place I work.  After a quick climb up the short ladder, I found myself in a position in which I know A LOT about the company I am working for.  One thing led to another, and an employee left the company (on less than spectacular terms), and no one to fill her role.  Well, I shouldn’t say no one.  I took up the reigns.  And I have to say, to this day, I thank my (then) boss for taking the big risk.

Well, anyway, the big part of this person’s job was travelling around, and doing presentations.  And I’m not talking about sales pitches, though I did do a few of those.  I am talking full on classes about our products at places like UNR, UCLA, CSUB, CSUN, St. Judes, VAMC, and I know that is a lot of acronyms, but basically think any place that treats speech disabilities, or trains and certifies speech professionals.

So here I am, no real experience in the big world, thrown into the position where I have to give these huge presentations to hundreds (literally) of people at a time.

I came out of my shell REALLY fast.   Type A personality HERE I COME.

I am not currently in that position, but I am still in a position where I need to have major people skills, and I do occasionally help out when needed in that department.

Anyway, the point is that even though I have developed this Type A personality, I really am not a Type A.  I am actually very shy and introverted.

And that is where the hesitation came from. Because even though the Type A traits have become a “vassad” if you will. Truly I am still the shy kid, sitting at the back of the room, quietly trying to avoid ever being called on by the teacher, dreading PE, nose stuffed in a book, afraid of what people think of me, type of person.

But you know what, I am glad that I did mention it to my guildies that I was coming into their town.  It was the strangest feeling meeting them.  It was like meeting a new person, but yet at the same time, like meeting up with old friends.  It was strange, wondorus, fun, exciting, and scary all at the same time.

I mean, we all talk on vent.  We all chat and play together.  We all have a huge blast…  In game, that is.  In real life it is a bit different.  These people can see me.  They can judge me.  They can laugh at me (wait, they already do, in vent).  The veil of anonymity that the internet affords is gone.  Its just you and them.

And you know what?  It was one of the funnest nights of my life.

We laughed.  We ate great food.  We chatted.  We laughed some more.  It was like meeting long lost friends after years and years of being…. lost.

The one thing I am forgetting in this epic story, is that these guildies and I, we actually do not live very far apart.  About 3 hours.  So, while we were chatting away over our first dinner, we were making plans to go to our local amusement park (thank them for no Wednesday or Thursday post).  It was such a blast.

And to think, I almost missed the opportunity to truly get to know these fantasic people, all because I am really Shy at Life.

*If you cannot hear the sarcasm dripping from this statement, then you need a sarcasm detector.  I really am not that old, only 25 🙂


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