Tales From PUG Hell: *I* Was Kicked?!?!

The recent need for so many heroics to be run has left us with so many stories, both negative and positive.  And since we all enjoy the occasional Fail PUG story, they shall be posted in this category from this day forth.

So, by now, most of you know that I have a DK alt.  I have no intention of really raiding with him, he is simply my Primordial Saronite farmer.  Heroics and the daily dungeon is the most I muster out of him.  For my playstyle, that is more than enough work on a second toon (soon to be three!!!!).

Anyway, so I log on and immediately que for the random…. to which I wait another 25 minutes to get in.  Yes, yes, I know people.  I could be tanking, and have an insta-que, but I do not like the way DK tanks are designed to work.  It takes a really skilled person to operate a DK tank, and even with that, they still suck healing.  *no damage *no damage *no damage *no damage *OMFGWTFBBQLOLURDEADSPLAT damage.

Anyway, I zone in, and buff up (such a nice change of pace only to have to worry about one buff, horn of winter, instead of all the pally buffs).  While the healer was eating to regen mana from his spec switch, the tank runs off, pulls, and dies.  To which we immediately zone out, so as not to follow him into the afterlife.

That was of course followed by profanity the likes of which even I would not post here.  The tank argued with the healer, the healer fought right back (woot!).  In the end, it was decided that the profound idiocy of the tank far outweighed the profound idiocy of the healer for, you know, eating to make sure he had mana.

Buff up again, everyone is ready, and off we go.  But the healer decides that he does not like tree form and stands and heals as his regular avatar.  Which I am completely ok with.  So long as you do your job, and do it well enough that the group doesn’t wipe, then I dont really care if you are alt-tabbed looking at midget pOrns or not.

But that is not what this healer was doing.  He was…  DPSing…  And putting himself OOM.  He barely managed to keep himself and the tank alive, much less the rest of the group ON THE FIRST FRIGGIN PULL.

Alright, so ill give him a chance.  He rezzed us, without a word.  If I didnt have a friggin 25 minute que, I would have left the group.  But I decide to stick it out.  AN really is not that long, anyway.  Hopefully the healer runs a bit better this time, and realizes that he cant DPS himself OOM.

Things go more smoothly until the first boss.  No, not the pulls before the boss, but the actual boss.  We even delayed so he could drink.  But again, he DPS’ed himself OOM.  DPS dies, He dies, tank lives only by popping everything he has, and then only barely.

So, yeah.  Death #2.

We zone in, and at this point, I am seriously considering re-queueing for  another heroic.  But at this point the whole situation was just out of control, it was funny.  A few votes came up to remove the healer, but it never passed.

After again, buffing up, getting ready to go, the tank says “GET IN TREE FORM, FAIL.”  Nothing was said, by anyone after that.  We pull, the adds just before Hadronox, and I can see the druid popping in and out of tree-form, while he casts his dps spells.  The only thing that probably kept us alive is the short GCD that the tree-shift added, thereby saving him just a bit of mana.

With all of the adds cleaned up, hadronox comes up, and, unbeknownst to all of us, the tank pulls him while the  boss is still killing the little dudes.

After about 10 seconds, he pipes up “umm Guys”  and we realize what is going on, and go help him.  But as anyone who has tanked a boss while there are lots of adds (think Army of the Dead) attacking the boss, aggro can be a bit tricky.  Theoretically, it shouldnt be, I know.  But yet it is.   So, the boss goes and one shots two of the DPS, and really hammers the healer, before getting back to the tank (who I imagine was having taunt fails).

After the boss is down (to which the healer was DPSing as well), we realize why we didnt loose all of the DPS.  The hunter who was with us did not move down to fight the boss at all.  She, and her pet, were safely tucked away on the catwalk leading to Hadronox, AFK tag just appearing next to the name.

She came back, just as the healer finished rezzing us.  Of course, the healer couldn’t help but to pipe in and say “KEEP AGGRO, FAIL!”

*oy*  At this point it is just too good to leave, and we all buff up again, and head down to the next room.

During the fight leading up to Anub, the healer pipes up about the group sucking, no one doing their job (despite the fact that I was top of the DPS charts), and takes a shot at me.

To which I promptly reply “This run has been full of fail by a lot of people, but far from it from me.  I have kept my aggro in check, always at the top of the meeter, and always been right there during the fight.  There is a lot of finger pointing going on when the Hunter wasn’t even there for one of the boss fights, and the healer ISNT really healing properly, instead, deciding to DPS.  Lets stop name calling and just get this boss down, then we can all go our own ways.”

Being that this was, of course, met with complete silence, must have meant that there was general acceptance, right?

So the tank pulls Anub, but because the hunter is still semi-afk, she gets locked out.  “Hey dipshit, you forgot about me!!!”  I was mildly annoyed at the hunter at this point.  But we have downed Anub with healer and tank before, no dps alive, we shouldn’t have a problem.

But the healer is DPSing to make things go faster, right?  During the first burrow phase, he hammered the adds hard, barely keeping the tank alive.  Then the second above ground phase, the rogue immediately rips anub off of the tank, gets one shotted, then of course, one shots me with pound, before the tank gets him back.  Great. Now we are left with a tank/healer combo, to which the heals is running dangerously low on mana.  Yup.  There it was.  Annnd… wipe.

Immediately, it devolved into a shout fest.  The tank was dumb for the rogue ripping aggro.  I was dumb, of course, for not knowing that when the rogue ripped aggro, I should have popped frost presence, and icebound fort to survive the pound (never mind there wasnt enough time to even react, much less get 2 GCD’s in there).  The hunter that got locked out seemed to be completely innocent and without blame.  Sitting out, remarkably, was the honorable thing to do in this farce that is called a boss attempt.

Being a healer as second spec on Firespirit, as well as a little lowbie holypriest coming up, I immediately called the healer out.  Told him to stop his DPSing, get in tree form, and heal like he was supposed to, when he hit the “heal” button on the dungeon finder.

He responded “I cant heal when there are adds on me, I have to DPS them down.”

“No, you heal yourself and keep yourself up, all the while getting your tanks attention to get them off of you.  Come on, that is basic dungeoneering 101.  If you have enough health to stand and DPS them, you have enough health to stand and…  heal?”

That set off the storm of vote-kicks.  Two of the kicks I sent out for the healer failed.  Two of the vote kicks the tank sent out for the healer failed.  Then it got to the point where people were randomly vote-kicking.  The hunter, failed.  The rogue, failed.  The tank, failed.  The hunter again, failed.  The healer, failed.  A few precious second go by, then I get a loading screen, and find myself back in dalaran, with the message, “You have been removed from the group” and a 30 minute debuff.

And I stand for a second and laugh.  I was the one who was kicked out of that fail group??

Oh well.  Fodder for a monday morning post.

2 Responses to “Tales From PUG Hell: *I* Was Kicked?!?!”
  1. leah says:

    wait you get 30 minute debuff for being kicked? huh…

    that said, sounds like one of those experiences where you go right past hysterical crying straight into hysterical laughter 😛

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