Tales From Pug Hell: A Whirlwind of 2 Days

So the past few days, I have been sick (still am).  The kind of sick where you are really too sick to be at work (I finally got to use some of those 280 some hours of time I have on the books), but not sick enough to be laying in BED all day, yet still sick enough to not really do anything or go anywhere.  Yes, it has been a yucky few days for me.

Anyway, I launched myself into a whirlwind of pugs.  And boy was it fun (hehe, yeah.  NOT.).  I don’t know if its just me (and my expectations of a smooth run), or if I am just the statistical outlier, but even my guildies note – I have a really HIGH average of failpugs.  I once mentioned that I had something like a 20% failpug rate.  Well, I calculated it during these last two days.  Discounting the two pugs that were fail because of..   well.  Me, to put not too fine a point on it.  I had a whoppng 48% failpug rate.  Yes, you read that right.  About HALF of all pugs I run with are fail.  It has gotten to the point that guildies have HESITATED coming with me, because I always seem to get into a failpug.  HESITATED.  Truly the only time I am enjoying myself these days is when I am NOT pugging.  I just finished off a crafted set of pants for fire, so I am going to call a moratorium on daily heroics for a week, just to gain some sanity back.  Which is SAD.

Yes, people.  When you say 1 in a million, I am that 1.  In yer statisticz.  I borked them.

A Moment Of Hilarity…

So, I have been trying and trying to get into a 25 ICC run on Fire.  I would really REALLY like to get the Axe from Morrowgar.  I tried for two (one each day).

The first was a complete pug.  There wasn’t two people with the same guild tag (and some with none) in the raid.  The group assembles and somehow, don’t ask me how, the group falls apart simply trying to get people summoned.  LOL.  I think I have never laughed so hard in my LIFE.  Someone piped up and asked for summons, and you know, because of phasing, it can be tricky finding two people who are phased.  After watching 10 different people all try different combo’s…  Player A and B doesnt work, so Player B goes into the raid.  But player C wants to try with Player B.  So B comes out and A goes in.  But that combo doesn’t work.  So C wants to try with A again, and B goes in the raid, A comes back out.  Somewhere in this mess, player D, E, and F show up.  In the process of 5 minutes, I thought we were getting a math lession on combinations and permutations.  Somewhere along the lines, things started to degrade, and “Fuck You” and “Asshole” and “Dickhead” all started flying around.  The raid leader started just booting players, and that raid just broke apart.  All while I was still standing in Dalaran, laughing hysterically.

On Being A Jackass…

The second attempt was markedly different.  It didn’t even make it into a full raid.

I saw a pug call going out in trade, and jumped in the raid group.  There were 8 people.  So I knew I had plenty of time, and went to the AH to buy some flasks and such.

But, nearly 10 minutes later, we had only added 1 person.

And not for lack of trying, he was definitely spamming Trade, as well as in the raid browser.

So, I piped up and asked what we needed, how could I help, etc…

No answer.

5 minutes later (literally, 5 minutes.  Not like 5 seconds.  like 60 seconds x 5), I ask again.

And he comes back and tells me this:  “I do this 5x a week.  If you are an impatient prick, then leave now.”

So I did.

And an hour later, after 3 randoms, he was still at it, trying to fill up his raid.

On Being The Generation Of Entitlement

After dealing with a bunch of failpugs with Fire, I thought I would change it up and play with my tank.

Now, of my three 80 alts, my tank is by far the least played.  I just like healing with my priest so much more than tanking.  Maybe that will change when I get him geared enough to get into raids, but right now… He is my “side project.”

So I que up, and get H FoS for the second time in my tanking carreer.  I should also say that I think I am just a smidge undergeared for this instance – I mean I still have a few DPS pieces left over from when I converted him to tank, and STILL have not found replacements for them.

So I whisper the overgeared healer, who says its no problem.  And I ask people to give me just a few seconds to round up the casters in the first few pulls.

And we pull.  And the group goes splat.

The healer pipes in and tells the lock that he ripped aggro from me, and he had trouble keeping both of us up.  I, of course, apoligize and ask for just a few seconds to round them up before the nuking starts.

We get back in, buff, and pull.   And the group goes splat again.

And the healer piped up again (this healer was cool BTW).  “Dude.  Stop ripping aggro.  I mean seriously.  Didn’t we just talk about this?”

No response.

We all sigh, and rebuff, and pull.  And the lock again rips aggro, but this time the healer let him die.  As soon as he died, I taunted, established aggro, and the pull went smoothly again.  The priest rezzed, but didnt bother even buffing him.  We went the next three pulls this exact way.  Pull – lock splat, and then all was fine.

Finally, after that third pull, the lock must have gotten fed up, and he just let loose.  “Why the F*** can’t I go all out?  It’s this fail tank.  I should be allowed to nuke from the start.  My guild lets me. ”

I know he had more to say, but the priest kicked him, and it passed.  Got another DPS, and the run went just fine from there.  No more deaths, no more arguing.

The Scratch Your Head Moment

I truly believe that I was in a group with a Bot.  It was ToC.  We all got in, got the lances, mounted up.  This “Person” zoned in, and moved to the lance rack.

And stood there.

We started the event, and he finally mounts up.

And stands there.

During the entire jousting event, he attacked maybe 1 person.  After the rest of us all were just LOL’ing in chat, we dismounted, and started the first boss (bosses?).  And you know what?  He started attacking with his lance equipped.  Worst of all – he was a hunter.  Without a pet.

After virtually yelling at him (all caps, WOOT), that using a lance was not working, he ran back to the rack, stood there for about 20-30 seconds, ran to a mount, stood there for another 30 seconds, and dropped group.

Not technically a fail, but funny 🙂

Dickhead Of Them All

When I had lost almost all hope of a good pug on my two days off, I qued up for one last random, feeling almost completely sanity tapped.

I manage to get into H PoS, to which I am greeted with a group that is wiped at garfrost, and missing a healer.  The DK of the group (not tank), immediately piped up, “I hope you can heal.  Our last healer must have had downs or something, he was retarted.”  Downs of course referring to Down Syndrome.

Let me preface this by saying, I work in the disabilities market.  I have been to people’s homes, chatted with families, even had dinner at some of their houses.  My line of work is extremely rewarding, and very personal.  By and large, the people that I work with and for are the finest examples of human beings on the planet.

To say that I went ape shit on this asshole is an understatement.

And I refused to heal him.  The group just sat in shock and awe.

In any event, we buffed up, and pulled.  And the DK died.  Then the group died.

I was immediately blasted for killing the group because of one jerk, etc, etc, etc… “un-fucking-believeable” was the phrase the dk used.

But here is the thing, it wasn’t me that wiped the group.

Holy priests, you see, are somewhat weak at tank healing.  They can do it, but its not nearly as easy as other classes.  We are the AoE heal powerhouses (or so I’d like to think :).

And the tank… The tank thought it was OK to have 26 stacks of permafrost on him.  26!!!!

I was literally spamming Gheals on him, and it was just not enough to keep him up.  So the group went splat.

So, I left.

And 5 minutes later, I had a fan.  Or rather, a hater.  Someone from that run had hated me so badly, they created an alt on my server, and whispered all of my guildmates, and me, that I was the worst example of a human being ever (I wonder who it was? – Insert false sarcasm here).

And just think.  This is just a tiny cros-section of all the runs I had went on.

Sanity – 0

WoW – 1

If you ever want a few hours of complete amazement and observation of failpugs, come visit me on Muradin!

3 Responses to “Tales From Pug Hell: A Whirlwind of 2 Days”
  1. zelmaru says:

    There are some things that just push my buttons, and that’s one of them. Making fun of people with disabilities – NOT COOL. I entered a pug once where someone used the N word and I was so horrified I just dropped group and felt like I needed to wash my keyboard with soap. Ugh.

  2. Dyre42 says:

    I rarely ever see failpugs. However I have a secret. I don’t do pugs between the hours of 3pm and 10pm server time. It works really well if your schedule allows for it.

  3. Chanah says:

    I think we may be even – or I may be worse – on the PUG front. I’m starting to live in terror of the dungeon finder tool, and I flat-out refuse to do anything anyone pipes up with in the trade chan anymore (why do they use the trade chan anyway?)

    Those invariably end up with somebody thinking you can do Zul’Gurub or AQ with 5 or 6 people (huh???), the group wipes repeatedly, and the raid leader chews out everybody and says the raid can only be done by well-geared 80s (this is vanilla WoW we’re talking about, it’s not 80s in ilvl 3 million that are needed, it’s PEOPLE). Do they not know the meaning of raid? Does the ’25 man’ or ’40 man’ part go right past them? And couldn’t they mention that they’re recruiting for a suicide mission instead of calling it a raid until surprise, you get there and ‘six is plenty for this’?

    My first time in Hellfire Ramps, not the toughest instance in most circumstances – the group wiped. Repeatedly. Within about 30 seconds each time. We asked the tank to please stop pulling every mob in the place at once as soon as we get into the instance. Tank goes all pissy and quits after the fifth wipe cos the DPS can’t keep up with him. And lo and behold, a tank is not to be found. Anywhere. This can’t be the norm. Tanks and healers are instant tickets to the front of the queue.

    The healer who ‘forgets’ to bring mana pots, drinks, buff foods, and everything else, and I end up either healing (not specced for it) or innervating the healer constantly and doing spot heals along with and therefore not DPS’ing, which also doesn’t tend to work out well, but sadly, has not been an uncommon occurrence.

    The healer who neglects the tank (???) and yours truly has to flip out of boomkin and spam heal like crazy to keep from wiping – we actually got through that one, amazingly.

    Tank conveniently bails so he won’t die, and dies anyway. Healer friend of tank quits, and the group gets hung up looking for replacements for half an hour (again, how can this happen outside of supernatural bad luck?)

    A huge fight breaks out over who should get the cloak/sword/whatever. Three people swear at each other a lot and all quit.

    The loot ninjas, or my supernatural un-luck. It’s not easy gearing a caster druid, and yes, sometimes we need cloth even though we aren’t allowed to ‘need’ it. I have yet to receive any loot except vendor trash from any PUG I’ve ever done save one. Count ’em. One. And in more than one of them, the raid leader decided to take everything for himself.

    The guy who chews me out for not having a higher rank for a certain spell when I just dinged a new level in the dungeon, which I tell him. Am I supposed to port out, find a trainer, and come back later?

    The guildie who needs help with a two person quest, and you’re about to fall asleep, which you tell them. But you say, okay, because it won’t take long, and suddenly find yourself queued for a dungeon because the guildie wants to do a heroic with someone they know, and then go do the quest. Aaarrgghhh!

    I’ve been responsible for a couple of PUG disasters myself, but not on that scale. And why, o why, do people forget to buff each other?

    Dyre42, good suggestion – when I have late late nights or early mornings free, those tend to be the drama-free PUGs where people are polite and have a clue what they’re doing.

    As for the language issue, I don’t know what to tell you. It seems to be everywhere. I quit a guild because the Christians hated the Atheists hated the Christians, everybody despised the ‘filthy’ niggers, Jews, Muslims, Mexicans, fags, and yes, retards and crips, non-Americans (I fit a few of those categories myself, and used to work with refugees in my country full-time), whoever isn’t like them. Sadly, the new guild is turning into the same thing. It’s bad when the gulid chat surpasses trade chat in sheer bigotry and idiocy. That one I have no answer for. I’ve also made myself pretty unpopular for telling people to stop and trying to educate a bit. But it’s like hitting your head against a brick wall.

    Choose your company carefully, is all I can suggest. But that isn’t possible in a PUG. I’m in the market for a new guild myself, or I may form one, since all I can assume is that unthinking prejudice and bile is the norm given how much I see of it on my server.

    Real life is tough enough. We play games in part for an escape from that. There’s no reason for anybody to be a dickhead in WoW, but you meet just as many there as in the real world. Maybe more.

    Thanks for letting me rant.

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